Something that I experientially learned this past weekend: we like to stay far from unpleasant or painful feelings that the other induces while being in relationship. Thus, in attempt to avoid and/or alleviate those feelings we will control the other–whether it is through flight or demand or other maladaptive forms. Regardless, it will happen.
And, isn’t it fascinating that one appears better than the other? Flight or passivity, in my flighty and passive mind, seem so much more innocent than demand and assertion. I have slyly kept myself on decent terms with the world, due to these qualities I swiftly default onto, yet I have deprived myself from opulent, hmm that’s right opulent (ooo la la), fullness (that which has to include distressing pain).
All of us daily experience a highly sophisticated protocol that instinctively and religiously calls our minds and hearts to shorten, lessen, expedite our pain, in which the other invokes. The moment of glory is when we feel the internal throb and in turn, invite the other to not pay for it, but to speak, meet, experience it with us.
Surely, surely love is all around.