Today marks my first performance art piece out of 5 revolving around Lent. Every Wednesday at school I will take 15 minutes to deal with my body in space and time, while interacting with Lenten ideas, emotions, statements and the presence/absence of God–amongst my peers.
My hands are quivering.
As much as I attempt to plot and plan performative pieces, a symbolic flat wall interferes with my hyper-vigilance, signaling me to sit down. Yeah, ok, sit down, right, but I need to know this will be slightly profound or at least genuine to my being. I need to know this won’t humiliate me or cause people to doubt me. And yet without answers or promises, I place myself in these situations and yet I really love this art form and yet I trust the process, somehow. This makes me wonder and conclude that I truly want to see myself survive the doubts, disagreements, and disbelief in who I am and what I present.
Will I trust the process and allow myself to feel, follow, and become what is larger than my being?
Will those around me do the same?
If not, then this is a public conversation between God and me, between me and me, between my humanness and yours.
And, that’s enough for me.