My Swollen Abdomen Is Different From Yours: soli Deo glori

God I thank you for Mary

Plainly thankful

How did her juvenile body receive


With robust joy?

With holy terror?

I wonder about her choice

Was there choice?

Sovereignty knew abortion

would not transpire

Did Sovereignty foreknow her humble reply?

Whatever the unknowable answers might be,

she ephemerally carried ad infinitum

God inhabited the uterus

of a girl

How disdainful.

How mythological.

How mentally troubled this God.

And, how daring of Mary to say ‘yes’

to this task,

akin to Psyche’s defining moment

of her feminine development

Both women had tasks that

sifted and purified their personhoods

as differentiated and set


How agonizing.

How exhilerating.

Mary stood as whore amongst

those who knew her


Exiled and seemingly defeated

by human standards

Her body continued to

grow and bulge and swell

Her body did not look

exactly like Elizabeth’s

nor Sarah’s or Hagar’s

Not because she carried God

and they did not

But because her body,

curves, sways, protrudes,

expands as her own

Mary’s body held God differently

just as I hold God differently

just as my tasks of becoming a woman

are different and attuned to my being

Thus, she labored with breathing I will know not of,

excreted liquids I will know not of,

bled red I will know not of

and tore open in a shape I will know not of

for the incarnation

to inhale his first breath,

for the incarnation

to scream, wail, and need

I will, in part, know of these things, maybe


But what I do know is,

we carry God

sometimes in utero

sometimes in mind

sometimes in breasts

sometimes in soul

sometimes in orgasm

sometimes in sight

Glory to God alone



Filed under memento vivere

2 responses to “My Swollen Abdomen Is Different From Yours: soli Deo glori

  1. i like looking at the world through your eyes.

  2. Jen

    i love this. your perspective is breathtaking.

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