Two Years of Institution

One year and 8 months ago I wrote this. Now I revise it:

Honey, we have been married for four months (two years) now. Here is my fact sheet on marital blisses:

I am not thorough

(Lately I check many types of bags of spinach and find the very bestest price. Don’t mind that I forget to factor quantity. What, $1.99 is a great price. For 7 leaves of spinach? What, it’s local).

Jay is thorough

(A very narrow thorough streak. Hates, let’s be even honest-er, ignores bills, but loves making the house perfectly neat or his bio for therapy perfectly beautiful and precise and always buys the bestest and mostest and cheapest food)

I pay attention to mail

(Sometimes I shove it in a drawer and pretend it’s toilet paper)

Jay does not

(He now periodically checks it–once or twice a year–elbow jab, elbow jab)

I play my songs on the piano, repeatedly, incessantly, aggravatingly (my novice self is wearing off quickly for him)

(I remain the same here, however there is no smidgen of novice left. I also spread my art supplies everywhere, trails of clues showing Jay where to find me. Oh, you’re on the roof! Oh you’re inside the fridge! Oh you’re painting my shoes!)

Jay plays the harmonica insanely, beautifully, uninhibitedly (his novice self is trying to break out via noise)

( 105.3 Spirit FM)

I don’t cook

(Times are changing…ever   so    slowly)

Jay cooks and concocts all kinds of things and creates the best hot chocolate

(He remains the same here, just add cocktails and espresso)

I drink beer with stereotypical manliness and talk about psychology as though my life was ending

(Eh, manliness is waning, gin and tonic with St. Germain is preferred and now I talk specifically about child psychology as though my life was ending)

Jay drinks hot chocolate with such devotion and talks about medicated America as though she was his kid

(Substitute cigs for hot chocolate and keep medicated America, but add psychosis of faith and becoming an entrepreneur)

I like to blame

(Still happens, occasionally, of course. I accuse Jay for helping me take ownership of my shit. Likewise, I accuse him for taking ownership of his shit.

Mutual repentance is kind of a great and powerful thing)

Jay likes to remind me of me

(Like I said mutual (not simultaneous) repentance is kind of a great and powerful thing)

I have become anxiously preoccupied

(Fully secured)

Jay has become anxiously avoidant

(Fully secured)

(huge attachment style swap)

(we call each other every 10 minutes, asking, “are you ok?” Depending on the day–one is asking, the other is ignoring. Like I said, Fully secured)

I am restless

(Increased by 50mg)

Jay is restlessness

(Increased by 100mg yet with some really good direction and stability with what’s next)

I talk shit in my sleep

(True, I’m also a whirlwind sleeper, taking up so much space and annoying my straight-jacket-sleeping beloved)

Jay jerks his legs wildly in his sleep

(No longer a fact. Growing up)

I like 2 alarms and then 10 minutes (total of 20 minutes of agony)

(I’m doing fine with only 1 alarm and then 10 minutes. I get up with Jay most mornings for coffee and breakfast, a tradition I hope lasts till death us due part)

Jay usually is a one time and uppsey daisey kind of guy, HOWEVER lately the alarm has gone off 3-4 times, to the point of irritation. For example I will groan, “uhhhh, gaaahhhh, seriousssssly?, Jesus, Mary…gahh. it has gone off like 10 times by now…”

(I’ve become a deep sleeper and he now uses music to wake himself, so I don’t care about his alarms anymore, especially if Kanye West is the key note waker. I just do a jig and roll over)

I exaggerate

(I overemphasize)

Jay is accurate


I love him

(I rather like him too)

He loves me

(He can laugh at my idiosyncrasies and absent-mindedness)

I stop him to stop time for a moment


He stops me to stop time for a moment


We try to see each other as wholly other than…our mere constructs and images and ideals and demands

(Every season this seems to prove itself more and more true, unless we are exhausted, then Enrique Iglesias’ Hero spontaneously blares loudly)

Wholly his and wholly mine, yet wholly free


Four months (Two years) is an accomplishment, I must say. Cheers to my lover and I as we attempt to crazily fulfill this thing called marriage, no no no wait, Love.





Filed under beauty, love, marriage, Uncategorized

4 responses to “Two Years of Institution

  1. Serious LOL at ‘fully secured’ – no judgment though. Laughing with, not at.

    Baine and I just celebrated 7 years (though I claim 12 b/c I think we earned plenty of merit in the 5 dating years), and I was just saying that I wish we had written and saved something concrete (e.g., poem, letter, card) from each year to help us remember where we’ve been. Don’t know if that’s your intention with this, but I think it’s awesome.

  2. i gotta say, i love this. and i love you two crazy love birds. happy anniversary.

  3. this is stunning, my friend. i love the sweet noting of the details of life, which makes a joined life. fully secured, at that. thanks for sharing this.

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